Mindfulness in everyday

sometimes the moments in life appear like we are looking through a tinted window. we often neglect to see the related patterns in our life, the seemingly small and inconsequential moments that are interlinked and that send us a constant message about our future and the path we are on.
small events like repetition of a number throughout the day or a song being heard more than once (well, on the radio that is a regular occurence if you listen to the same station long enough), speak to something we should be more aware of.
in my previous life i worked in the filed of advertising and graphic arts. a rewarding career for some time in my life, but disillusionment, a need to change my life and not seeing it caused pain and sorrow in my life.
a small voice spoke, actually it was a recommendation that a residential treatment program for adolescents were looking for employees. i could have ignored the small voice, but the catalyst for change had me by the throat.
walking into the building brought the change that lasted for twenty years... it brought me through college and grad school, a new and sometimes frightening insight into human behaviors... mine included... looking back it has been a strange and fantastic trip, and still amazing me each day.

keep your eyes open, there is more to witness and experience than you have ever imagined.

Hiding my Heart

I am sitting here listening to my stereo system, these speakers makes Adele sound like she is really in the room singing in front of me!
The song Hiding My Heart comes on and I begin to think.
There are those moments in life when someone comes quietly knocking on our hearts,
ever so gently the presence of them moves the earth beneath our feet.
But what happens when that gentle, earth moving knocking comes when we dare not respond?
Being in a relationship, married or otherwise holds a deep and very heavy moral dilemma...

The earth moves each time we are in that person's presence, much, much more intensely if there is physical contact, such as a hug. I feel heavy just writing this.
A friendship appears to develop, we see each other daily at a store, a coffee shop, or as chance sometimes plays its game, meeting when least expecting it...
The words are always friendly, safe and friendly.
But what lies behind our eyes is anything but safe. too much of this "safety" and a distance ends up being created. we stop going to that store or find another coffee shop or prays both seeing the person and equally not.

Hiding My Heart, there is danger in holding it in, there is danger in releasing it.
thoughts of what could be, changes to what may have been when looked at in the light of day. Relationships are anything but simple, but again, it is too evasively simple.
It comes down to one second, to a decision in that moment.
The moment that will change everything forever.

The knocking on our hearts remains a quiet stirring within that cannot be answered.
More hearts would be broken than what our hearts can withstand...
In the end the knocking on our hearts just show us that we are still indeed alive and capable of love and in the final decision we find that passion does indeed live, hopefully making us take a much needed look at the relationships we are in and find that it had started back then with a gentle knocking at our hearts

Subtle intentions

in a recent meeting with a couple I found my initial observations to be curiously about their choice of seating. he chose to sit next to me as she chose to sit on a love seat as we talked about his issue and its impact on his life. There were moments during the conversations that opened my eyes a bit to the dynamics of their relationship. often it is not what we say but how we say it. sometimes it is not how we say it but how our bodies say it. posture, facial expressions and even something as subtle as where we look gives me subtle interpretations into what is really meant behind the conversation.
As the man spoke he made many comments about what he has done to try to help himself with this problem he is battling, I looked over at his fiance and saw the quiet words she was speaking with her eyes and body. A small shift in her posture, a look out the window or down at the floor began to speak about her feelings for him at different points of the conversation.
What I find in most relationships that are experiencing trouble is that each person in the relationship are focusing on their internal struggle with the problems and have difficulty seeing the other person and the difficulties between them. to bring them to a new insight requires more than just conversation about their feelings and thoughts. before that can occur a simple exercise could be effective in creating a more powerful environment for that conversation.
the man and the woman are asked to walk into the bathroom, or their bedroom and look in the mirror at each other. the image of them together creates just that, them together. at this point the conversation takes on a more intense focus. the conversation becomes more intimate.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone reading!

Don

Beginning a business

It has been three months since I began setting up my counseling practice. I have a lot done, NPI, Tax ID, malpractice insurance, even got onto Aetna's boards. I need now to find an office to either rent of share, or find a group practice that is looking for a member, I am working with SCORE on setting up my LLC also...
It is a fine beginning, taking a bit longer than I want...

Mindful Interventions soon!